The other night, I found myself doing what I usually do when I am dancing with someone who doesn’t have a sense for the timing of the music or the basic step. I try to stay on time with the music and then follow along with the leader as best I can, trying to keep time with the music and stay on the basic step.
The other night I had a new thought about this. I was going to follow the leader even when he was stepping in the opposite directions as the step I know and was not on time with the music.
Now, I am doing my BEST to avoid judgmental language here and there is a lot of judgment going on. There is a lot of right and wrong happening here.
“I learned this dance and it goes like this and the timing is like this and…”
There is a LOT of that structure in partner dancing and for GOOD reason! How would we be able to dance such fast tempos with such complicated patterns if we did not have some kind of a road map of how to navigate that with a complete stranger? It would be like showing up in China and trying to speak Italian really fast to someone who’s never heard the Italian language before. All kinds of frustrations and miscommunications could happen.
So I get it, I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND why there is such a thing as dance class and refinement and mastery…
I also totally understand a new way of following now.
It is not: “I am right, you are wrong, let’s get you right now.”
It is not: “I am so annoyed, why can’t this person just pick a timing and STICK with it.”
It is not: “I know more than you do, here, let me help you.”
It IS: “How can I follow this person with whatever they are doing?”
It IS: closing my eyes and feeling into my body to see how connected I am.
It IS: being in relationship with myself and someone else and the music on the dance floor and there is no TELLING what the outcome will be.
It is Peace. It is centeredness. It is fun. It is constant connection with self and others.
It is the mystery.
It is, it just is.