From Victimhood to Empowerment with One New Perspective (and Learning More About White Privilege)

Life is happening for me not to me


A few weeks ago I decided to join an online summit where thought leaders on love and romantic relationships shared their experiences.

As I listened to one of the conversations, the host of the summit shared an insightful perspective. One of the things that’s helped her most in her life was realizing that life was happening FOR her, not TO her. This struck me.

In all of my years of spiritual and personal growth work I don’t know if I’ve ever heard this sentiment put quite like this. Or…maybe I have, I just wasn’t open to hearing it until now!

Since I first heard this perspective a few weeks ago, I’ve now heard it at least three other times through three other sources. I mean, is that coincidental or what???!!!! (I don’t really believe in coincidences, btw!)

When a phrase or perspective like this comes to me that often, in such a short amount of time, I pay attention. To me, it means that my Higher Power is trying to get my attention!

“O.K. God, I hear you! Thank you for being SO CLEAR and speaking SO LOUDLY to me!” Since hearing this, I am actively trying on this new perspective and I love it. The feeling of empowerment I receive, and a restful trusting in God’s greater plan, is a respite for this usually frantically striving-to- thrive self.

I’ve actually shared this new perspective with some family members and friends as a result, because I found it so insightful and such an empowering, new message.

Now, to be honest, I spent hours writing a much longer blog post about this new perspective, which gave me a lot of insight. Suddenly, I was faced with my own privilege as a white passing, Catholic, middle to upper class raised American. I thought, “Would a black mother feel like life is happening for her when her innocent son gets shot because his skin is black? Would the Rohingya Muslims of Myanmar think this as they get expelled from their country, have to travel in unthinkable conditions to live in unthinkable refugee camps across the border? Would women, who are being raped systematically as a tool of warfare, feel this way in the Democratic Republic of Congo?”

Although this perspective is highly empowering to me, when used in the right contexts, it does and cannot negate injustices, hardships, really tough times or unbelievable, unthinkable challenges that some people face simply because of their circumstances, color of their skin, sexual preferences, culture, race, religion, belief systems, or economic status.

As we continually seek to find the balance in this great, complex and also simple life, I have been humbled by this recognition that although life may seem like a real struggle for me mentally and emotionally, some may be struggling with far worse or challengings situations.

In light of it all, a few questions for you to consider:

How will you take this simple perspective shift, that life is happening for me, not to me, and put it to use in your own life?

Where can this perspective serve you and others?

How does it inspire you?

Who does it inspire you to be?

I wish you well on your journey, whatever it is, wherever it is and with whom it is with.

With Sincere Gratitude and Humility,

p.s.  Need more daily inspiration?  I’ve got some inspirational wall hangings as holiday gifts!   Check out the one-of-a-kind artwork by clicking here!  

p.p.s.  Need more resources?  Head over to the coaching page for ways you can continue your healing journey. 

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