Tonight my twin sister and I were invited to join a friend for opening night of the World Premier of Donna Hoke’s Seeds, a play about two twin sisters, marriage, family, conceiving, relationships  and choices involving all of these things.  It was an intense play done very well with great acting and very real, intimate, and intensely dynamic moments.

My twin sister and I sat next to each other with our friend to my left, who kept whispering things in my ear before they would happen!  (She works in the theater.)

After the show, we all discussed what the subtleties of subject matter brought up for each one of us.  What struck me the most during the last scene of the play was a memory about my twin sister and her daughter.  I thought about getting up and leaving my life many years ago on Maui because it seemed like they “needed” me.  I would have left everything to be of service to them, to “help” them.  This need or desire to be “needed” has been very strong in my life.

I realized this desire to give my life to something has come up in other areas like love, too.  “I would give up everything to be with you,” and this felt sincere.

Something to give myself to, fully.

Now, I wonder, do I want children?  Will I be in a long term relationship again?  Have a husband?  Etc?.  And if not that, what then will I give my life to?

What is my “baby”?

And I ask you, what is YOUR “baby”?

Sarah