Today, as I sat in the bathroom, (why do I have lots of breakthroughs in the bathroom? Do you too?) I remembered and deepened into an epiphany I had last week. During a coaching call, one of the main instructors for the course I am completing, chimed in while listening to me coach a peer partner. I had given her permission to give me developmental feedback as I was coaching. When I heard the feedback, all sorts of things happened inside of me:
I felt a twinge of discomfort. I felt anxious, wondering what she was going to suggest. I shamed myself, “See, you are not good at this.” I felt embarrassed that she felt the need to give me feedback. Etc., etc.
Her feedback was very helpful and supported the coaching to go much deeper instantly. For this I was grateful as I felt and saw the effects immediately with the peer partner. She opened up a door for me and I walked through it. The effects were tangible and I learned a lot.
Moments, days and now a week later, I am still wondering why I experienced her feedback to be “so harsh” or for me to be so reactive to it.
I remember last week, maybe the day after this experience, I wondered, “What if I just opened up to receive the love that was there in what she was saying to me?”
As I thought this, I did, I opened up to the love that was there and it was BIG. I stood there breathlessly opening up to receive this, swaying a little bit, rocking side to side, and I became a space for that love.
Today, as I noticed there was still some residue from my reactions to her feedback, I again chose to receive the love that was there in her gesture. I sat there and realized how much love there was in her feedback, in what she said, in her energy, much more than I had previously tapped into. It was as if I was sensing into this fierce love, like, “I want you to be FAR BETTER then you ever knew you could be” kind of love. Like a Mama Bears kind of love, like a wave of love washing over everything to renew it, make it whole again, uplift it. Like holding a really high standard kind of love.
I thought of the parking ticket I got last night in Toronto. With still some feelings of frustration and anger lingering in me about that, I wondered, “What if that was just love too?”
I wonder about you, Dear reader.
What are some areas in your life where you can open up to receiving the love that is there for you?
How can this opening up to receive love drastically shift your perspective about and experience of this situation?
Share your thoughts below. I look forward to hearing from you!