I got vulnerable today twice with people whom I know, some very well and some getting to know better.
The first time, I felt uncomfortable after I got vulnerable, like I had said too much. I thought to myself, “I am going to be open with my vulnerability here.” So I shared with the group that I felt vulnerable about what I shared. In expressing that I remembered that I had made a choice to share more information than was necessary with the idea of being more vulnerable in front of the two people that I didn’t know so well.
It was an amazing and interesting discovery to at first feel like I had self-abandoned by sharing too much information, aka, not listening to my inner guidance when it felt like I was about to say more than was needed. Then, in talking about how I felt vulnerable about what I shared, I was able to remember my original decision to become vulnerable as a choice to open up more to these newer people.
Later on at dinner, I shared something even more vulnerable and my dear friends recognized this. “Wow, you ARE being vulnerable. That was really being vulnerable,” they said.
“Yes, it was. I am definitely out of my comfort zone,” I said. I noticed as I said this that I felt lighter, like outside of my normal comfort zone of walls and defenses to keep me safe and protected and also ok, even though I wasn’t standing on such solid ground.
“It feels a little scary here AND I am ok. I feel as if I am on the plank of a pirate ship or on the precipice of a mountain or hill, right at the edge. I feel like air. Light. I feel good though. I know I am safe here,” I said to everyone.
I know I am safe here.