I’ve been kind of dreading this
Last weekend, I woke up feeling a bit down, a bit unenthused. I sensed an underlying agitation, but couldn’t put my finger on it.
Later that day, I spoke with my cousin and she mentioned someone she knew was having a tough day.
What occurred to me earlier that morning was that it was almost a year since COVID hit. Almost a year since everything changed.
I know, for me, when a first year anniversary comes up of something that was either challenging or enjoyable, I tend to revisit it emotionally, mentally, psychically, energetically. It’s almost an opportunity to heal more, process more fully or enjoy more fully that experience from the previous year.
How is this that kind of time right now?
Are you feeling dread at the thought of revisiting what it was like one year ago when COVID hit?
Do you feel scared to even go there?
A part of me does feel scared. It says, “I don’t want to deal with it. I’m over that. It was a year ago. Look, we got through it!”
And, another part of me knows better. This part knows that in order to truly “get through” something, I need to go through it all the way, not just part of the way.
Dr. Edith Eger, in her book, The Gift, talks about how we manage to get through the traumatic incident or time period and we think we’re in the clear. Then, the real work begins. She says in chapter 2, page 34, about her time in Auschwitz, “I had to survive the discomfort and uncertainty. But, somehow that was easier than reliving it now. This time I had to feel it.”
Although feeling our feelings can feel scary, Dr. Edith reminds us, “Feelings are energy. With feelings, there’s no way out but through. We have to be with them. It takes so much courage to be, without having anything to do – to just simply be.”
How will you muster up the courage to feel your feelings now? To give yourself some time this next week or next three weeks to feel your feelings about what’s happened this past year? To take it all in, to feel it little by little, to heal from any residual thoughts or emotions around what’s happened this past year?
What about journaling every day for the next 31 days about how you feel about anything. This is just for you. You can write down anything you want and then rip it up or keep it in a safe place just for your eyes.
The therapist I work with encouraged me to start writing about how I felt and I did this for 30 days. It was very therapeutic. I had no idea how many feelings I wasn’t allowing myself to feel. And, once I gave myself permission and time to feel them, by writing about them, I started to free up space within myself. I started to feel free!
What will you commit to so that you can move through this COVID time free and clear, having felt your feelings about it or explored your thoughts or anything unresolved about it in a safe and productive way?
I am wishing you and yours all the best.
p.s. Seriously, what will you do for the next 31 days to feel, deal and heal in a healthy and productive way so you can move through this COVID time to be better than you were before? Make that commitment to yourself now, or email and share it with me or a friend of yours! Accountability is key! How will you commit to this practice? Set a daily reminder in your phone, write a note and put it on your bedroom or bathroom mirror? You are the holder of your own key to freedom! What about grabbing it right now and opening the door!