Part 4: Feel Your Feelings, But…
One thing that’s come to me twice in the past few days is a saying:
Feel your feelings, but don’t stay there too long.
It is important, shall I say IMPORTANT TO FEEL OUR FEELINGS!!! It is SO important, I cannot even stress this enough. And…don’t stay there. Feelings are meant to be felt. Then, they change, evolve. Then, we may feel more of those feelings at another time. Then, our feelings shift and we feel something else. We may even feel multiple feelings at one time. It’s natural.
A lot of people, who’ve gone through grief, talk about grieving this way. One moment I’m fine, then I’m crying again, then I’m fine. That’s the nature of feelings. They shift, move and change when we feel them!!!!
So, the importance of feeling our real, raw, human emotions is without saying. And…when the feeling passes, it’s ok. And, when, and if, it returns, it’s ok. Keep feeling, dealing and healing.
The important thing is that we don’t lodge into our feelings by becoming the feeling, acting out of the feeling or harboring the feeling. Just give yourself some space in the moment, or later on that day, to feel whatever feelings are surfacing. When you’re done feeling those feelings, you’ll know because the feelings won’t have the same charge they had just moments ago.
One way I’ve learned to feel my feelings in a safe and healthy manner is to “feeling journal.” A trauma therapist I’ve been working with for a few years now told me to try this in an effort to start feeling my feelings, instead of avoiding, rationalizing or intellectualizing them. Even for me, someone who does this work like it’s her Life, fears feeling my feelings at times. It’s normal!
To feeling journal, I grab a few sheets of paper and a pen, sit down in a quiet space and write down everything I’m thinking or feeling about something. I write down all the swear words, the thoughts, the feelings. I try not to censor myself at all. It allows me to get all my current feelings out on paper for no one to see but myself.
When I’m done, I rip up the paper and throw it away. It is relieving to be able to feel in a healthy, safe way that doesn’t hurt myself or others. Actually, it’s relieving to give myself permission to feel!
A lot of us grew up in families where our feelings were not welcome and we had to stuff them down, ignore them or abandon them so that we fit in with our families, received love and recognition or felt like we belonged and were safe.
Not anymore. You are the adult of your own Life now and it’s time to start feeling, dealing and healing in a healthy way!
What is one step you will take to start feeling your feelings in a healthy, safe and productive way? How about feeling journaling every day for the next seven days in a row? Write for at least three minutes each day what you’re feeling about anything or anyone, even about yourself. Then, tear it up and throw it away so no one finds it! It’s only for your eyes.
How do you feel after doing this exercise?
Has it shifted how you feel your feelings in your normal daily life?
Do you find your more apt to turn towards your feelings instead of away now?
Comment below and let me know how this simple practice is supporting you to feel, deal and heal in a healthy and productive way.
With Love and Aloha Nui Loa,